by Helena Lester-Card
Photos by Becky Spencer
You may be surprised to hear that despite our very loud, in-your-face outfits, some of us do sometimes struggle with confidence and self esteem issues. I mean who doesn't tbh?! We've been brought up in a society that is constantly criticising and comparing us, so much so it causes us to doubt ourselves from time to time. We had a little heart to heart in our Whatsapp chat the other day after a couple of us were feeling a bit low which is what got me inspired to talk about this today.
The BIGGEST self esteem killer is that evil thing called comparison. We all know we shouldn't do it yet sometimes we fall into that little dark hole where we find our self esteem smashed to smithereens after scrolling endlessly through Instagram. Some days I'm totally OK with my acne-fied skin as I think I'm just this little being in a humongous universe, why does it matter if I have spots, they'll clear up one day right? But then other days it forces me to dwell over the fact I don't look like my flawless faced friends. I mean it shouldn't be all about looks, we have a lot more to offer than just our appearances but lets face it, a lot of us feel most insecure about the way we look more than anything, thanks to the media basically brainwashing us into what should be seen as 'perfect'. In the words of Heidi in our Whatsapp chat: 'You need to realise what you have, not what you don't have! No ones perfect and it's all attributes you have as a person that make you all so beautiful! Never doubt yourself.'
I used to be horrendously unconfident with my body and would constantly call it names which naturally made me feel worse. My body type hasn't always been represented in the media so I used to think that I had to be something else to be deemed acceptable. It wasn't really until I got a bit older and wiser (last year to be precise) when I started to fully accept my body type in all it's curvy/cellulitey glory and now I strive to feel as confident overall as I do with my body.
What we have to constantly remind ourselves is that you are YOU and that's what makes you so wonderful. We must stop putting ourselves down all the time. My boyfriend actually set me a challenge to stop saying anything negative about myself and it made me feel SO much better. Start focusing your energy into the things you love about yourself instead. I think self love needs to be taught in schools because for some of us, it's one of the hardest things to learn how to do. Luckily there's tons of self love advocates out there who have inspired me/us and we want to help you too!
Here's a few tips from me, someone who is also on this journey, to get you on the right track for loving yo self.
1. Surround yourself with people who love you unconditionally for who you are. Get rid of anyone who tries to make you feel bad, it's all negative energy that you DO NOT need.
2. Give yourself some time every day for just you. Whether that's to pamper yourself, read a book or to just chill with your own thoughts. Whatever it is, make sure it makes you happy and try and keep those thoughts positive.
3. Write a list (or a mental list) of all the things that you love about yourself. Don't feel bad about it, it's a great thing (and not big headed at all) to love certain qualities/features/if not everything. For example, I've learnt to love that I'm very kind hearted, have great style and also have a cracking pair of boobies (even if they're a bit wonky) and I have no shame in saying that.
4. STOP COMPARING. You can admire another girl's beauty/success/personality without belittling your own.
We are all on a self love journey and once we reach the destination it's going to be truly magical.
Love Heli x
DRESS: Pretty Little Thing
BOOTS: Shellys London
CHOKER: Made by Heli
BAG: Shellys London
CHOKER: Sassy World
EARRINGS: No Basic Bombshell
BAG: Skinny Dip
DRESS: Pretty Little Thing
COAT: Babydol Clothing